I feel privileged in that I can regularly give my brain a break by riding out on the New Forest on my American Quarter Horse, Ché. Even though it’s winter and everything’s brown and seemingly dead, the forest is alive with interest when one takes the time to stop and LOOK and listen. Earlier this week it was very cold, at first startled by the crack of thin ice under his hooves, my horse then thought it a great game and danced around even more. Later a Goshawk flew past at shoulder height and landed unconcerned in a tree close by. She focused hard on us as we passed, waiting to alight on one of its feeding ‘platforms’ just below, covered with feathers. A fascinating sight and one that bought home to me the power of letting go plans, ambitions, ideas, campaigns and other future-focused activities to take time out to ‘dwell-in-the-moment’ and to appreciate life’s natural wonders.

... getting all fired up!

The Harvard Business Review featured a blog in a similar vein, ie on how to ‘Train Your Brain to Focus’  when coping with the constant pressure to perform in our working or business lives. Our ability to juggle a seemingly endless stream of competing tasks isn’t helped by the way our brains works.

Like my horse, who at the slightest provocation, sees Sabre-Toothed Cats behind every bush so our human brains also resort to eons of programmed responses to external threats. A tiny almond-shaped part of our brains called the amygdala is where we process our emotions and negative emotions such as fear, loss of control, rage and inadequacy boost our ancient flight or fight responses.

And these negative responses tend to dominate very quickly, often overwhelming us with unresourceful feelings that prevent our rational prefrontal cortex (our brain’s executive centre) from thinking beyond the immediate situation. This is a distraction to our performance, regardless of whether we are at work, managing teams, chairing meetings, negotiating with clients, or even competing in sports.

reflect on positives

Interestingly, positive emotional feelings do the opposite by reducing stress, supporting self-confidence and helping us access our brain’s executive function – an aid to great performance.

TIP TIPS

You might be like many of my clients (some of whom are senior folks running successful businesses or large organisations), and find yourself easily distracted by negative emotions. If so, try my effective 5-step process for snapping out of it:

Firstly, Self-Discipline: get used to becoming much more aware of when these feelings and the negative self-talk dominate, and take a look at yourself from outside-in (this gives your rational brain a chance to engage).

Secondly, Breathing and Posture: be aware of your breathing and posture, both often mirror our emotional states. Try relaxing by emptying your mind and thinking only of your breathing (I’m pretty bad on this but find looking a distant tree or a flower and then de-focusing my eyes really helps). Now close your eyes and relax, breathe in for 7 counts and then breath out for 11 counts. Repeat until your heart rate slows.

Thirdly, Focus on Achievements 1st: reflect on the things you have learned and achieved and that give you a sense of positive self-regard, no matter how small. This is especially good for those of us who feel guilty for not having done ‘enough’.

Fourthly, SHFB: get quality Sleep, drink more Water, eat more healthy Foods, and take short Breaks… and yes, coping better can be as simple as that.

Finally, Find your Centre: this is about exploring what gives your life meaning and purpose, about which you can be proud and from which you gain strength and self-confidence. If you haven’t yet found ‘Your Thang’ then isn’t it about time you did?

... privaeval fears, modern stresses

In the meantime, I’m off for another ride on Ché. By deep breathing and maintaining a relaxed state of awareness, I shall calm him and me when the Sabre-Toothed Cat threatens from behind yet another hedge.

Let me know how you get on with yours!

Here’s the HBR article.

Coaching and supporting people getting to grips with business and career pressures feels like a vocation, something I was born to. It doesn’t mean that I haven’t had to work hard to acquire the skills and professional status I now enjoy, but I’m having the ‘ride of my life’ doing it and I’m not about to give up for many years to come.

Similarly my relationship with my horse and competing in the very demanding niche western sport of Reining, it just feels ‘right’ when the penny drops and our training starts to pay off. It’s intellectually stretching, physically demanding for us both and utterly fun. We will continue so long as we can maintain our capacity to learn and progress, or until my horse and I run out of ‘puff’.

an elemental force!

I can honestly say that when I’m coaching or competing, that I’m ‘in my element’… the boundary between ‘work and life’ disappears and the notion of ‘work-life balance’ becomes fuzzy.

According to the internationally renowned expert and University of Warwick Emeritus Professor Sir Ken Robinson, “The Element” is when people are doing things that they love to do and seem their most relaxed and authentic:

“It’s long struck me that all sorts of people never discover that. They live lives they don’t really enjoy, they kind of get through it and wait for the weekend. But I also know people who absolutely love what they do and they couldn’t imagine doing anything else… they say ‘this isn’t what I do, this is who I am’.”[1]

Top Tip

So who are YOU… really? How is that real YOU expressed in your working and home life in a way that signals to you when you are ‘in your element’?

If that positive feeling of both skill and driving fascination hasn’t come together for you yet (and by the way, it’s absolutely NEVER too late!), reflect on the following:

1. Is there something you’re naturally good at, that you would love to keep developing?
2. Is this ‘something’ an activity, profession, leisure pursuit, or business idea you feel you have ‘a calling’ for, but also something that you are prepared to work at?
3. If so, what are you going to do about it this year?

The last word goes to guru Tony Schwartz:

“If you do what you love, the money may or may not follow, but you’ll love what you do. It’s magical thinking to assume you’ll be rewarded with riches for following your heart. What it will give you is a richer life. If material riches don’t follow, and you decide they’re important, there’s always time for Plan B.”

You choose!

Nancy explained how she often gets asked “How do you do it?” ie balance a successful career and a thriving family. She also pointed out that this question is rarely asked of men, yet they often share the same journey as their professional working spouses.

Support networks are a vital part of her success, enabling her to have a baby between each of her 3 degrees including her PhD and to make choices both in her career and personal life. She was thus able to seize opportunities when appropriate.

Nancy used the useful analogy of a 3-Legged Stool: The seat of the stool is your self-belief without which the legs are holding up air[1]. She went onto share what were the three legs of her stool:

First Leg: Build your personal support structures, including any outsourced support such as access to trusted childcare;

a)    be prepared to ask for the support you need both at home and at work, and be grateful if it’s good, but also be aware of the difference between support and advice

b)    maintain your social networks even over miles, continents and over time (it’s easier to change jobs than family and friends)

many hands make light work

Second Leg: Seek professional support from advocates, mentors, sponsors, and colleagues at work and be prepared to offer support in turn, even with people who are undermining you;

a)    You can transform a negative relationship with the right kind of attitude and turn an awkward colleague into a grateful ally

b)    De-clone your professional network; most of us now appreciate that diversity helps Boards make more balanced decisions, but also seek diversity in your personal network including geographically, socially, industry sector and background

Third Leg: Develop the right (authentic) CORE VALUES and be guided by them throughout your professional life. Nancy gave the example of IBM’s policy statement letter number 4, written in 1953 at a time of racial segregation and turmoil in the US. This very radical missive stated that the best people, regardless of race, colour or creed, should be appointed for IBM to be successful.

A values-based business case… way before its time! Check it out here.

Top Tip

So what would comprise your 3-Legged Stool of Success?

rethink your success strategies?

1. Have you a well-developed sense of your own Self-Belief, or is there more you could work on to build your confidence and have a greater sense of your authentic self?
2. Then what would make up the 3 legs of your stool, to enable you to be seated comfortably and with confidence?
3. If you think hard about it, have you also a stool for your private life kept separate from your professional existence, what’s different about it and why? Could your deeply held values could be the bridge to a more positive existence?

Questions, questions… have fun pondering!

... at your wit's end sometimes?

It’s just about impossible to get that all elusive ‘Work-Life Balance’ as our long-hours culture takes hold, bank lending retrenches and job losses rise. I for one love a good challenge to boot me out of my comfort zone from time to time, but it can all get a bit much and becomes an adrenalin-fuelled ride without any real purpose.

So how to retain deal with stress and enhance our coping abilities? Apparently there’s a very cost-effective solution all around us. The Guardian recently reported on the positive psychological effect of listening to birds on our creativity and sense of wellbeing.

Like most theories these days, what to you and me may seem the ‘bleedin’ obvious’ has to be subjected the to rigours of scientific research, to prove the hypothesis that birdsong “… helps us relax, can assist our ability to complete tasks and even think creatively.”

Here’s another famous example of how taking ‘time out’ in natural surroundings can support creative thinking. Alan Wiles, the British mathematician who provided the greatest solution in 100 years of mathematics, describes how he took ‘time out’ from his usual slavish routine. As he walked along a riverbank, his new state of relaxed concentration allowed his subconscious to work… and that’s when he had his most important breakthrough.

So it came to be that after 358 years, and after 7 years of one man’s undivided attention that Fermat’s last theorem was finally solved.

Read all about Wiles, the Genius here

Sometimes when I’m out riding my horse in the New Forest, I find myself deep in thought trying to work out a solution to a business problem. I can feel my heart rate rising and my breathing getting shallower as I sense a rising panic. I now recognise the signs and now stop my horse and just spend a few minutes gazing around in appreciation of what is right under my nose.

Even in the depths of winter there’s something to focus on, maybe a group of young Fallow stags hanging out, or a buzzard calling over the pines as it soars on the wind. And as the days lengthen when I’m out on Ché, I’ll soon be able to tune into the sound of the Skylark as it hangs high over its territory, fluttering and singing one the most evocative of birdsongs. As my mind clears of clutter, I know that I’m making space for my ‘soul’s intelligence’ to help find the right solution to what may be troubling me. It’s not forced, it’s just… well, why not try it for yourself?

ready for a song?

A friend recently sent me some lines from Nancy Kline’s book ‘Time to Think’ and my eye spied this…

“Urgency keeps people from thinking clearly.”

So if you’re like me, full-on and hectic, or wondering how much more you have to fit into a busy schedule in order to put a tick across Job Done, then maybe now’s the time for some reflection and quiet and the answer is right under your nose… or in a nearby tree!

By mid November the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses programme delivered in partnership with Aston Business School, was well underway. As programme facilitator I attended the official launch on the 22^nd along with the Aston team and our 1^st cohort of 25 business owners. Fazeley Studios in Digbeth Birmingham a truly stunning venue in a converted Unitarian Chapel now operating as workspaces for the digital and creative industries.

On the 25^nd November I spent an afternoon in Cantell Maths & Computing College in Southampton having been invited by the Head to come and spend time with two groups of students. I shared a light lunch with two members of staff who briefed me about the sorts of challenges facing the students.

From there I spent some time with a group of Y10 girls just talking a bit about my background and why I thought education, self-belief and having aspiration is really important. I asked them to just focus for a few minutes on the lives they thought they’d have as opposed to the lives they’d really want for themselves, and what the ‘bridge’ from one to the other might be.

It was a challenging and enlightening experience, for them as well as for me and to their credit, not one of them said “… but you’ve been lucky Miss”. I had shared my them my childhood in various care homes, getting married and pregnant at 16, living at the top of a Council tower block with a young baby, no money and a husband who played away. I told them about being a cleaning lady until I was 28 and then having to start my education all over again, and that it was never too late to learn and to strive.

After that I was shown into the main assembly hall and asked to address 168 students in Y8. How do you keep a large group of excited youngsters engaged for nearly an hour, and without a microphone?! Luckily members of staff were ‘riding herd’ and ushered them all into their seats and attempted to keep the peace.

Cantell Student Textiles

My brief had been to bring certain issues “… to their attention early on before it is too late”. After a brief introduction about my background I got them to focus on what they thought made for a successful life and career. I also asked them to talk to others nearby about their aspirations, what they’d really like to do in life. It was all very interactive and noisy, however the responses were both intelligent and enthusiastic.

By chance I’d come across a TED talk on YouTube a couple of days earlier setting out the 8 principles that lead to Success (based on 500 interviews). I have to say that this engaged group of 12-13 year olds figured out just about all of them in the time I was with them, and some more including ‘being courteous Miss’:

TED Top Tips – 8 things that lead to success:

1. Passion for what you do
2. Hard work and commitment
3. Get good at what you do
4. Focusing on one thing
5. Push yourself, through self-doubt and shyness
6. Serve others something of value
7. Ideas and be innovative
8. Persist through failure and CRAP!

I left my young audience to rousing cheers and thumping feet. My Cantell experience was one of my most challenging speaking engagements to date, but one of the most enjoyable… both poignant and at times hilarious.

I raised £150 for Macmillan Nurses in the bargain, and the feedback was very positive:

• a really fascinating life story
• good to meet Kiki one-to-one and hear about her life
• inspiring because Kiki has turned her life round and we could do the same
• the group was very open and honest in answering questions asked by Kiki, and we challenged each other!
• a great opportunity: never done something like this at Cantell before
• Kiki was brave and confident in talking to us all and inviting us to contribute

… and, by the time I got back to my office a message was waiting in my in-box from one young man: “Thank you for the inspirational talk today at Cantell secondary school it has really helped motivate me to becoming an environmental engineer.”

Job Done!

Here’s the TED talk, judge for yourself.

December has been very much about delivering on the Goldman Sachs 10,000 Small Businesses programme as well as coaching, and attending meetings to develop new opportunities via strategic partnerships etc. 2012 looks like an interesting year already!

New Forest pig 'pannaging'

And finally, it was great to be back riding my horse in the New Forest now that the traditional pannage season is at an end. He has a mortal fear of pigs so we use this time to have a well-earned rest after the Reining competition season ends. Christmas Eve saw the forest nearly at its winter best – deserted (everyone still shopping) – and golden as the sun emerged from a bank of shadows, followed by a dramatic cerise gloaming.

It’s been a wonderful end to a roller-coaster of a year, and I hope your coming year is all you would want it to be… and more. And remember, in the face of slowing economic growth now’s the time to continue to invest in your own growth, one way or another!